Codpiece Piece by Sherri Briggs & Phil Ratliff LASS: Have you worn a codpiece sir, One of silk, one of fur? One of velvet, brocade too, Red or yellow, green or blue? LAD: Nay lass, nay lass I have not, Before I wear one I will rot. LASS: Would you wear one with a bell? Would you wear one with a bow? LAD: Nay lass, nay lass, no no no! LASS: Would you wear it out the door? Would you wear it to a war? LAD: I would NOT wear it out the door, I would NOT wear it to a war! LASS: Would you wear it with brocade? Would you wear it on parade? LAD: I would not wear it on parade! I would not wish to be displayed! LASS: Would you wear one here or there? Would you wear one everywhere? LAD: I would not wear it here or there, I would not wear one anywhere! LASS: Would you wear one made of leather? Ready made for any weather? LAD: I would not wear one of leather, Out of doors in any weather! LASS: Would you, could you wear one at court, Would you, could you be that sort? LAD: I would not, could not wear it at court, Nay lass, I am NOT that sort. LASS: Would you, could you wear it plain? Would you, could you in the rain? LAD: I would not, could not wear it plain, I would not, could not in the rain! LASS: Would you, could you stuff it well? I promise I would not tell. LAD: I can't, I shan't stuff it well, So there will be no tales to tell. I will not wear one with a bell, I will not wear one with a bow, I will not wear one out the door, I will not wear one to a war! I will not wear one with brocade, I will not wear one on parade! I will not wear one here or there, I will not wear one anywhere! I will not wear one of leather, Ready made for any weather! I will not wear one at court, Nay lass I am not that sort! I will not wear one plain, I will not wear one in the rain! I will not stuff it well, So there will be no tales to tell! LASS: Please just try and you'll see, You will wear one most joyfully! LAD: If I try it on for show, Will you leave, will you go? LASS: Yes sir, if you try it on, I will leave, I will be gone! LAD: Say, this codpiece feels just fine, Thank you thank you friend of mine! I will wear it with a bell, I will wear it with a bow! I will wear it out the door, I will wear it to a war! I will wear it with brocade, I will wear it on parade! I will wear it here, or there, I will wear it EVERYWHERE! I will wear it made of leather, Ready made for any weather! I would, I could wear it to Court, Yes lass, I AM that sort! I would, I could wear it plain, I would, I could in the rain. I would, I could stuff it well, Please lass, please lass please don't tell